When you are looking at adversity, do you see the obstacle or the opportunity? Typically, we see the obstacle. But whether out of sheer stubbornness, ingrained optimism, or faith, we decide NOT to throw the towel in and walk away. What it really is, if we stick it out, is a chance for God to show what He can do– turn an obstacle into an opportunity

It’s no surprise that most married couples start out like we did: broke. As Dorothy Boyd rants in Jerry Maguire, “Broke, broke, broke!” Our early years of marriage were The Lean Years.  After experiencing  company downsizing for the second time with two different Fortune 500 companies, my husband, David, decided to start his own business.  He also began programming at night for an online computer start-up to earn some extra cash.  With two babies– 24 months and 9 months old–we worked opposite hours to have one of us home; we felt called to raise our children as much as we could without daycare. Between my two part-time jobs and Dave’s odd night programming hours, we barely saw each other. It was a trying time; we debated if I should go to work full-time, forgoing our convictions on daycare, or if Dave should stop trying to build his new company and get a salaried job. We knew we were making the right sacrifices to ensure a better future, but we were close to giving up.

To say money was tight is an understatement.

To stretch the grocery budget, I ground my own baby food with a mini food processor and used cloth diapers to save the $70/month on disposables. My mother responded to my pleas for a “garden fairy” and provided a watering can, a hoe, some bags of mulch and a flat of seedlings. I became an accomplished canner and barterer: vegetables and other garden produce were canned or traded for goat’s milk. While we didn’t starve, it was discouraging when the only things in the pantry were garbanzo beans and tuna.

I frequently made the 90 minute drive to my parents’ for a good home cooked meal and encouragement. There are two ways to my folks’ house: the crowded two-lane which all the tourists use to reach Yosemite Park, and the back way, a nausea-inducing windy road that swoops between reservoirs and avoids everyone but the locals. Since it was tourist season, I chose the back way.  Driving out of the reservoir canyon around a sharp curve, I noticed a lot of plums on the roadside. A few feet farther on, there were boxes of plums, crushed on the side, spilling their ripe contents down the embankment. Well, this was a boon! Free food! Pulling the car as far off the shoulder as possible, I quickly began collecting my bounty. A sheriff pulled up to see if I was alright. “Yes, officer, “ I panted, brushing at the hair escaping my ponytail, and gripping the ends of my shirt with one hand where my precious plums were sitting. I gestured to the plums on the road, “Can I have these?” He looked at us, the old beat up Volvo with the kids strapped in, and me looking worried that I might lose my gleaning opportunity. He said fine, but be careful. (The blind curve was dangerous, and the embankment treacherous.) Eventually I collected about three large boxes of plums.

…the crumpled fender and hood showed definite evidence of one dead deer, complete with tufts of fur wedged in the fender.

As I washed and canned God’s plummy gift at home that evening, David drove up in our one dependable car. Unfortunately, it had suffered a collision with a deer on his way home. He was fine, but the crumpled fender and hood showed definite evidence of one dead deer, complete with tufts of fur wedged in the fender. Now, some may think that’s not a good thing, but do you see what God had provided?

Meat. An entire deer, in fact!

OK, no, we didn’t actually eat the deer. But the point is, we could have. God had provided. Not only that, but the insurance company considered the deer “An Act of God” (as if I needed further proof) so they covered the repair AND the deductible.  Again, God provided.   He didn’t make us rich; we didn’t win the lottery or have flush checking accounts. But those plums were traded for goat’s milk, lettuce and zucchini from other neighborhood gardens and given as homemade gifts that Christmas. Most importantly, we saw that we could make it, if we just kept doing the right things and being faithful to our callings. We persevered through that and knew, with just that small glimpse of hope, that God would provide for our needs. (Also, I realized we weren’t actually starving; if we were I would have been willing to skin and butcher the deer. Perspective.)

The story has a happy ending (well, it’s still going, actually). God allowed David to create a successful company and we faithfully continue to pursue the callings God has for us as parents to our children and partners to each other. Because we endured through the tough early years, the difficult 10 year slump that hits a lot of marriages only made a dent in our marital fender. We had built up a lot of collateral in trust and faith, both in God and each other. It still isn’t easy street over here; we budget and save to make payments, but at least we can afford vacations and have some college savings for the kids.

In our lean years, we were richly blessed because we persevered and waited for God’s provision, striving to honor him in our roles as parents and providers. No, money didn’t appear in my wallet. But I could have seen the plums in the road as a mess or an opportunity. The deer-crumpled car was not a car accident, it was God saying, “You’re struggling to put food on the table? I can give you food!” *BAM!* Twenty years later, I am teaching our children how to see the opportunities, not the obstacles.  We strive onward, because the goal is not to be rich, but to glorify God, and increase faith, through our trials.

Trials and perseverance take many forms. Too often we start the trial and quit, or find an easier way out. But I say, don’t! Seek for that opportunity to grow in faith! Allow God to show you that He can do more for you than you could ever do yourself. Pass it on to your children.  The knowledge that they need God to break through  their trial is a lesson they will not learn from this humanistic world, but if the learn it, they will succeed in any trial.

What seems simple in hindsight usually has us blindfolded in the midst of it.  It is simple faith, not easy faith, to seek God in the suffering.  “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.”(Phil 3:8) Empty pantry. Obstacle, or opportunity? It is an opportunity for God to step in. Faith is looking for Him in the face of our obstacles and waiting (sometimes a looong wait) until He steps in to show us the opportunity.