This entry is originally from a letter I wrote to our daughter last March.  The idea was generated at the start of a spin class, (as in cycling) when the instructor asked if anyone knew much about St. Patrick.  Ever the homeschool mother, I volunteered what I knew.  What I didn’t say, and what niggled at me the rest of the class was, like me, struggling with a child moving away from  home, St. Patrick had a mother too.

It is St. Patrick’s Day (luck o’ the Irish to ye, lads and lasses) and it occurred to me that St. Patrick’s mom, Mama-Patty, must have been pretty upset about the hand God had dealt her son.  Hang in with me here, because there is a common thread for all children and mothers.

Imagine the story of St. Patrick from his mom’s viewpoint.  At 16 her child is stolen by pirates from his comfortable villa in Romanized western England while she and her husband are out-of-town.  (The entire household was raided and everyone taken into slavery- servants, stable hands, privileged son).  He was abused and kept as a pig-herder by a powerful Irish chieftain. Some years later, (some accounts say four, others eight) he comes home.  (“And there was much rejoicing.”  Hoorah!  Yay!)  Mama-Patty is thrilled beyond words. I imagine she had a fair amount of resentment, even hatred (OK, let’s face it moms, it was hatred) toward the Irish in general and the chieftain and his tribe in particular.  She was defensive for her son, vexed and riled whenever “they” are mentioned in a conversation…

(Now, I don’t know any of this; it is pure speculation.  We know very little of his mother. Researchers tell us his parents were Christian, not too devout, but more out of habit.  His grandfather was a pastor and his father a deacon. Patrick was raised in the Christian faith, although he states he didn’t know God in his youth.  You can read about it in his own words, his “Confessio”:  http://www.confessio.ie/etexts/confessio_english#.  But I can tell you this: I’m a mom too.  It seems reasonable to me that his mother went a bit “mama bear” over the whole thing like many of us would. Back to the story.)

…and one day Patrick announces, “I’m going back.”  His mother’s reaction, “WHAT!? To them?” to which Patrick calmly (having felt the Spirit of God and all) replied, “Yes, Mom. To them.”  And we can imagine that Mama-Patty did not approve.  I’m sure she thought those Irish deserved many things, (thumb screws, the rack, gladiatorial service) but they did NOT deserve her son.  She would have ranted to her husband, full of indignation, “How can he even think of going back there?!  How can he leave home again?  And for what? For sinful, unloving, heathen, piratical Irishmen!  Surely this is a bad idea and not part of ‘the plan’ for his life!  Doesn’t a mother know these things?”  As a mom, I think St. P should have had the sense to listen to his beloved mother, who had already suffered so much.

But she didn’t know ‘the plan’.  She only knew what she had lived and seen and experienced the 40 + years of her life. God’s plan, ‘the Real Plan’, didn’t really involve her in Patrick’s life (at least from this point forward).  That was the objective reality of her situation.  The subjective emotions behind this are more complicated.  But the substance of her situation was this: her part was done.  She was to love Patrick and provide him catechism and lay the path for faith that could overcome all obstacles.  And she had done that. It was time to let go- really let go this time- with no expectation, and trust that God would be good.  Which of course, he was. (And is and will be forevermore.)

I don’t think she took this well.  Remember the subjective emotions I mentioned earlier? Mama-Patty and moms like me think that keeping our children safe and secure means planning their lives and keeping them on that path.  Our bible tells us to let go and trust God.  But our hearts tell us to hang on and keep our children, our plans, and our treasures right here. Here, we think, we can control what happens to them, protect them.  But we are only fooling ourselves. Admittedly, since we know very little of Mama-Patty, I could be completely wrong.  Maybe she was devout like Monica, the mother of St. Augustine. But the records I have found don’t indicate this.  And I am glad for that because I know myself, and many others like me, struggle daily with faith and trust when it comes to our children. I need a mother with human failings from Church history that I can relate to!

Sometimes we have to think about what the story DOESN’T say so that we understand what the story DOES say. God uses us, his flawed people, to enact his story.  You see, in the future, no one looks back at someone like me and uses me to illustrate extreme faith.  Extreme faith is rare, but people like me are a dime-a-dozen. We struggle. We fail. But in our failures we sometimes learn. With God’s grace, we can get better and closer to the mark.  This is called sanctification. It is a two-steps-forward, one-step-back kind of thing for us.  We’re the grass that continues to grow despite the weeds (Mark 4:19) and we spend years cutting out our weeds so that we can make fruit.

So I need Mama-Patty to be this kind of person, someone with faults and issues but who rose above them anyway and was able to find peace. (See how I wrote a whole ending for her?) She could find peace with God’s plan even though her beloved child was choosing to do all the things she couldn’t find grace in herself to do.

On St. Patrick’s day, I reflect on his mom. Patrick was a slave to Christ. An entire nation was brought to faith because of him not listening to his mother, but to God. He was full of grace and forgiveness because he saw more than their sins.  But don’t forget Mama-Patty. And in her faulty humanity find hope for those who strive for a deeper faith.